Evil Delicious Spicy Noodles


How to make Evil Delicious Spicy Noodles from Kingdom of Loathing | CookFiction.com

Name: Evil Delicious Spicy Noodles

Inspired by: Kingdom of Loathing

Secret Ingredient: Thai red chili

"What makes them evil? I dunno, the souls of orphans or kittens or orphan kittens or something, does it really matter?" - Description of the evil delicious spicy noodles item

Chef's Note

Deliciously evil. Pairs excellently with shrimp, seared scallops, or other seafood.


Making the Evil Delicious Spicy Noodles

You will need:

  • Fire-roasted or squid ink pasta (e.g., spaghetti al nero di seppia)
  • Butter or oil (for frying)
  • At least 4 slices bacon
  • 1/2 cup chopped white onion
  • 1/2 cup sliced mushrooms
  • 1 Thai red chili
  • 1 teaspoon oregano
  • 1 teaspoon thyme
  • 1 teaspoon rosemary
  • 1 teaspoon basil
  • 1 cup colorful grape tomatoes
  • 1/2 cup dry white wine
  • 2 tablespoons lemon juice
  • 1/2 cup chicken or seafood broth
  • Salt and pepper (as desired)


  1. Cook spaghetti in boiling water until al dente (about 8-10 minutes).
  2. Meanwhile: chop vegetables, and heat a large skillet over medium high heat.
  3. Add butter, and swirl to coat the pan.
  4. Add scallops, and make sure they stay apart. Brown ~2 minutes on each side until golden, then place on a plate and cover loosely with foil.
  5. Clean skillet, and heat remaining butter.
  6. Add mushrooms, onion, minced chili, and spices, until onion is tender.
  7. Slice tomatoes in half and add to mixture, along with the white wine and lemon juice.
  8. Reduce wine at least 1 minute, then add broth. Cook bacon in microwave according to package directions.
  9. Pour sauce over pasta, and top with reserved scallops and crumbled bacon.

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